THE BOOK--Playing The Percentages In Baseball

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Press Release: Hardcore fans tune-out Gold Glove awards

Press Release for Immediate Release.  Nov 11, 2009.

(NJ) Hardcore fans are just as likely to believe in Santa Claus as they are to believe in the Rawlings Gold Glove, so says an unscientific but obviously more than accurate poll conducted at The Blog for Inside The Book dot com.  After 194 votes, of almost certainly white males of college-age and older who avoid office work in favor of talking baseball, the leading response, with 35.6% of the votes, to the question: “What does the Rawlings Gold Glove mean to me?” was the answer “It’s the baseball version of Santa Claus: eventually, you learn the truth.”

While this is likely how the respondents felt prior to seeing the ballot, they may have been biased by the expose of Larry Stone of The Seattle Times earlier that day. 

In a slap at the traditional mainstream media, the second most popular answer, with 22.2% of the votes was “They’ve got a cool name, otherwise it’s just another press release that the media trumpets.” And 20.1% of the voters took an even more cynical view with their response “I think Rawlings laughs at us: “Look guys, watch what happens to the internet when we say Jeter won” “.  With 13.9% of the total, voters were more succinct “They’re dead to me.”. 

All is not lost however, as 4.6% of the voters believe that the Gold Glove awards themselves have meaning simply because they exist, as they answered “Mean to me? It exists and it’s real, like the Oscars can be real for English Patient and Godfather.”

And in last place, with 3.6% of the votes, was the answer: “I love it.”. 

Asked to comment on the results, self-proclaimed expert pollster Tangotiger noted: “Santa Claus serves its purpose in this world.  And no self-respecting adult would dare expose the truth to a child until the child came to him with his doubts.  Then again, the mainstream media does not trumpet the existence of Santa Claus, so maybe they can stop being so compliant?”

Rawlings was unavailable for comment, partly because they know they’ve got a fantastic sweetheart deal with the free publicity, and mostly because no one bothered to ask them for comment, be it the issuer of this press release, or the mainstream media that asks not a single question as to how the balloting process is carried out.  They are too busy cleaning out their trumpets.  Except for Larry “Woodward-Bernstein” Stone.

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