THE BOOK--Playing The Percentages In Baseball

MLB owner of a mid-market team without money problems.  The most fun job would be the GM, and as the owner, I could make myself the GM and I wouldn’t be in danger of getting fired.

Movie star. Money, fame, women, fun; plus a longer career if you maintain your looks. And you don’t get suspended or looked down upon for using “PEDs”

Famous rock star, playing guitar and lead singer.  I’m as obsessed with sports as anybody I know, and yet I’d probably pick this over being a professional athlete.

Never played an instrument, played plenty of sports decently well...I can’t imagine the rush of making great music with a band in front of 15,000 people.

NBA basketball player would be a close second.  Different than MLB or NFL, basketball practice is actually fun.  Low life-altering injury risk, terrific average salary.

I would get paid millions to do what I do on my off days: stay at home and read baseball stuff, hang out with friends, and play some video games.

Or maybe the owner of an MLB team.

I’ll say player. 

In theory, you’re doing what you’ve loved to do since you were a kid, you’re (probably) in great shape, you (probably) will never have to worry about financial issues for the rest of your life, and you can retire at 35.

You then have the rest of your life to do all things retired people want to do, only you have about a 25-year headstart on them.

It’s actually a tough question.  Really big jobs require that you sleep about 3-4 hours a night, which is a skill that I don’t have...Anyways, it would need to be a job with constant intellectual challenge and interaction with other people…

I’m of course way too much of a realist, so I’d end up doing something similar to what I do now.  But if I could give myself skills and connections that I don’t have…

They’re not jobs for the duration, but under the right administration, cabinet positions are probably pretty interesting: Secretary of State, A-G, HHS, Education.  Carol Browner (assistant to the President for Energy and Climate Change) has had a very interesting career, including EPA administrator under Clinton, a number of other jobs in government, and a career in private industry.

Whatever you think of the UN, Secretary-General would be a pretty good job too.  It probably gave Kofi Annan as much of an ‘in’ with the ladies as being a rock star, movie star or pro athelete.

Jenna Jameson’s masseuse.

I’d want to be a closer.  Being on the pitchers mound is the greatest feeling in the world.  Money is good, and as far as jobs go, you can’t beat the hours.

That guy from the mobile phone commercials that goes around giving away free shoes to people who need them.

I’d think PGA golfer would be high on my list. Best combination of hours, salary, and physical/mental demand.

GM would be awesome, but I’m guessing those guys are working 18 hour days a lot more than I’d want to.

I was going to say a golfer as well, has to be the easiest of all the professional sports.

But I’m going to go with being a painter that’s famous during his lifetime.  I can literally barf on a canvas and sell it for a million, hard to beat that.

I would love to have Andy MacPhail’s job but for the Mets.  He isn’t the GM, But he runs the whole baseball operation department with an iron fist.  He is the COO and President of Baseball Operations for the Orioles.  My dream job is CEO and President of Baseball Operations for the New York Mets.

Another reason is that I know I’d be great as the President of Baseball Operations.  I live and breath baseball, and I know I could succeed and do extremely well while also making enough money to support my family.  No matter which way you look at it it’s win win.  Plus I work really well on little to no sleep.

I’d like to write sports history books for a living.  I’ve already written short bios for SABR’s BioProject.  The problem I’ve run into is finding an agent.

Interesting.  If you have a family, being a PGA golfer is really tough.  The only major professional sport where you are on the road the whole season, which these days is very long.  It is also tough on your skin.  Many golfers look 10 years older than they are because of the sun.

Why do you need an agent?  Agents are useless, and publishers are not required.

You can:
- self-publish at Lulu.com, or
- go through Lightning Source (like we did) and let Amazon.com handle fulfillment. The only thing you need is an ISBN number.  They sell them in chunks of 10, or if you are Canadian, you can get one at a nominal charge

Otherwise, if you insist on a publisher, email ACTA.  They are good guys, and will definitely listen to you.

Tom, I’m actually working on something with McFarland as we speak, but it won’t allow me to quit my day job or anything.  Who knows, though?  I might be better off for it because I’ll be doing it for love instead of money.

I assume that we are picking
A. real jobs
that B. we would ordinarily have no chance at doing.

When I was a kid I wanted to fly the Millenium Falcon with Han Solo (who was and is loads cooler than Luke).  I’m slightly more mature now.  I think I’d go for NHL goaltender, with a move to the front office after I’m done - kind of like Garth Snow only I’d want to have played better.

Failing that, I’d love to be a skilled illustrator/aritst.  I’ve always loved drawing, but I’ve always been kinda bad at it.

I’d love to work in the front office for a major league team. I suppose GM is the ideal place, but I’d certainly find it exciting to work my way up (ok, so I have no interest in just getting coffee for people) to that spot. I guess that’s technically multiple jobs, but they’re all related.

Instead I’m a writer with two degrees who can’t find any job. Terrific.

Bud Selig’s job, and I’ll take a 50% pay cut.

Here are the best/worst jobs in the country:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123119236117055127.html

Probably some kind of professional athelete, as long as I got to play and wasn’t sitting on the bench.  That being said, probably go with…
1) MLB SS
2) NBA guard
3) Pro tennis player
for the day.

Non sports related, would probably be an astronaut.

Gary/14, Tango/16: You don’t absolutely need an agent, and self-publishing is a possibility, but if you self-publish you better be able to sell your own product if you want anybody to read it. I know that personally I wouldn’t self-publish unless I had already made a name for myself. I’m just not that type of person who can go out and convince people to spend money on my work. Some people can, and that’s great.

As for getting an agent, you’re more likely to get one when you have a finished (or mostly finished) product for them to get behind.

>Interesting.  If you have a family, being a PGA >golfer is really tough.  The only major >professional sport where you are on the road the >whole season, which these days is very long.  It >is also tough on your skin.  Many golfers look >10 years older than they are because of the sun.

Well, you are not necessairly on the road the entire season, as golf and tennis are the only sports where you get to make your own schedule.

However, I did forget to include ‘skin’ in my list of dream job factors.

My choice assumes that I am a top PGA player of course, as the fringe guys have to worry about making enough money to cover their travel costs to say nothing of making enough money to support their family. Also, it would be difficult having to play for your card every year.

I’m kind of surprised that someone not named Tango or MGL has said sabermetrician for an MLB team. I know I’d take that job for the duration.

Outside of sports, I’d be a movie producer.

"but if you self-publish you better be able to sell your own product if you want anybody to read it.”

JD: Perhaps you are not aware, but the first edition of The Book was self-published in 2006, from Feb to Mar 2007.  After that, we transferred the publishing rights to a publisher (which I would never do again, had Amazon Fulfillment been around at the time).  All you need is a decent product, and a blog to keep it in the spotlight.

I would hate to be a professional athlete.  Of course, you can chalk this up as sour grapes if you’d like since I have no athletic talent, but I don’t think I could take it.  I would not handle the criticism very well--not so much the scrutiny that comes for truly poor performance, but the silly garbage from ignorant fans.  I can’t imagine being Adam Dunn and having half of Cincinnati whine about my strikeouts, or being Carlos Beltran and getting ripped constantly for who knows why, or having a few bad starts and taking heat for it as CC did.

The perfect job in my opinion would be one that paid well but provided little public scrutiny, either for performance as with athletes, celebrity wise like movie stars, or from the government as with a CEO.  There aren’t a plethora of career paths that fit.

On the flip side, Patriot, you could be Joe Carter.

If we are allowed to go all Quantum Leap, I’d like to go back to being Jose Canseco, and turn into a lamplighter (aka whistleblower) while I’m still a player, so that we’re spared all the ridiculousness that followed.  Or maybe Willie Mays and admit I used speed.  Or maybe Babe Ruth in the 1920s, and sit out playing until blacks are allowed to play ball.

I like the cabinet-post post.  I’ve always listed Secretary of the Interior as one of my goofy dream jobs.

In general, I think there’s a lot to be said, at least with my personality, for being a trusted adviser, sounding-board, co-conspirator, confidant to a cool leader doing neat stuff.  I could avoid some of the aforementioned risks (public criticism, no rest, extreme stress) and still be (let’s say) as much a part as I wanted to be of something fun and/or meaningful.

I’d like to be captain of the Enterprise, but I’d probably be better suited to being McCoy or Spock.

So in baseball terms, I reckon I’d wanna have a loyal-to-me, smart front man with boundless energy, gift of gab, and media skills.

Oooh, good third one, Tango!  There’s one hell of an alternate-history novel in there…

Even a top PGA player has to play a lot on the road.  I think I read that of all pro sports, golfers have the highest divorce rate.

Anyway, I’d love to be a pro golfer.  But I think I would choose MLB player.  Don’t have to be a top player, but at least a starter.  I would rather pitch, but given all the injuries, I’d probably settle for 2B or SS.

POTUS would be nice, other than the hours, which I could not take.

I’d also go with TV or movie star (preferably the latter), but that is actually pretty hard work too.  I’d prefer something I could do without having to work long hours or wake up early in the AM.

Sabermetrician for a team would be on my list at around 3,478.

MGL/31 - I don’t think I’d even have it up as high as 3,478...Of course I didn’t think that way before I actually produced some work for a team...For the most part, it’s the lowest-paying and most fickle job any of us could ever have.

You have to give it some points/props for possibly being fun and interesting and doing something that you like to do, if nothing else.

Tango/26: I know The Book is self-published, but I think you guys actually support my argument. You, MGL, and Andrew are all well-known (at least among the #1 audience for the book). You have this site/blog, and you all publish articles and contribute all over. You do/did the promotion that I was talking about.

Maybe I’m coming from a different perspective, because I’m thinking of fiction mostly. With that, self-publishing and getting it out there is pretty difficult.

MGL/33: I will give it that.  Tango has commented many times about the pay (low enough to indicate that teams aren’t serious about the positions) and about teams’ unwillingness to listen to the people they hire...And yet he is a team sabermetrician

Assuming I would gain the required skills:
top 20 professional tennis player
mathematician at a top university
chair of the federal reserve