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Friday, June 12, 2009
Are lawyers like MLB players?
Rick Reilly tells us about the lawyer who sues for everything:
Oh, and he doesn’t even work in Oakland. He works in San Diego. Gee, I wonder what a sue-happy lawyer from San Diego would be doing at an A’s-Twins game the very day that they were holding a women-only giveaway? I called and asked. But Rava wouldn’t say.
“Season-ticket holder?” I asked.
Rava wouldn’t say.“You went to a game on Mother’s Day, to a game that was promoting breast cancer awareness, and you felt victimized by not getting a floppy plaid sun hat?”
Rava insisted it was a fishing hat.And he thinks the fact he didn’t get one is offensive. Not just to him, he says, but to the state of California, “which has a very strong policy against discriminating on the basis of sex.”
“Dude!”
“Look,” Rava says, “if ESPN were giving away free autographed Nolan Ryan baseballs to men only on Father’s Day, would that be fair?”“These weren’t autographed baseballs. They were women’s sun hats. Plaid, floppy sun hats.”
Rava: “Fishing hats.”I’m surprised he didn’t want his free mammogram, too.
Personally, I find Mr. Rava as odorous as a bag of dyspeptic hamsters. He’s a greasy manipulator who has found a small leak in American law and stuck an open wallet under it. When they wrote California’s Unruh Civil Rights Act in 1959—the act Rava sues with—they never thought soulless creatures like him would someday slink about the earth.
As Chris Rock said in a great movie:
Cow: You’re a lawyer too?
Mooseblood: Ma’am, I was already a bloodsucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase!
This is exactly why people don’t consider lawyers in high regard even though a great majority of them simply are helpful people. When one of their own manipulates a spirit of a law (that others of their own wrote) to the extent that is done here, and that lawyers don’t stand up and decry the ridiculousness of the lawyer’s action (which has has done countless times), this is the same as MLB players as doing nothing at all about having a workplace where drug testing would have been more common place, and disincentives more forceful.
You stick your head in the sand, and we’re allowed to kick your b-tt. Don’t complain about the kick. Complain about the thing you should have been complaining about in the first place.
(Hat tip: Primer.)
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